28/12

又回到了属于自己的地方，回到了自己的家。
不知道怎么的，回到自己的家，却感觉有点不一样。
或许，2个月在外，回到了家，要一点时间来适应回来。

在那2个月里，真的很像发了一场梦，一场很美妙很奇妙的梦。
很多人帮我，把握当成家人，当成公主一样，对我很好很好。
不晓得还有下次的机会吗？
很感恩我的生命里出现了这样的家人。
一切一切真的很奇妙，
重新让我认识了，知道了什么是因果。
所有的事情都会有因和果。

当然，现在的心情还在处于复杂之中。
还有那焦虑，紧张的心情。
很害怕自己会做错事情
对自己的信心大跌。

很感恩生命中出现了位知己。
我一直以为身边没有了好知己。
原来，她一直在我身边不离不弃，给我很好的安慰
以前，一直以为有很多的朋友是很好的事情。
到最后，真的很多的朋友，可是都是男的。
真正属于女生朋友却没有。
有也少之又少。
每当有心事的时候，却不知道向谁申诉。
在这两个月里，她不停的安慰我。
很感谢她没有放弃我这位朋友。
为我担心，为我加油。给我最好的鼓励。
她是属于冷静型，我却属于焦虑型，
每次都是她为我担心。
我是变得没有用了吗？

我不停的对自己说要很好，可以做到的。
一阵过的勇气很快就没有了。
一闭上眼睛就想起以前的那些事情，也就开始怕了焦虑了。
有种能救人却不能自救的感觉。

能在医院工作真的很好，
看见很多很多不一样的cases
学到很多很多的治疗方法。
如果以后能在医院上班，真的很欣慰。

20102013-sep and october

WELCOME TO ME-OCTOBER.

and also welcome to my next clinical practice- medical neuro and pediatric.

last clinical practice-psychiatry was over.

well, learnt lots and really can see through what is " depression ", "schizophrenia", "bipolar" and even "anorexia" 

we gave lots of activity to them, and the moment when I saw joyful on their face, its worth for me travel from home at 6.30am everyday.

 here is cooking class for my patient. 

here is college art to treat their fine and gross motor, and cognitive as well :)

here is paper plate art :)

it might be looks bit childish for people who aged 20 and above, but it does help them in particular way. 

centre was held sukan day. had fun on that time, babysitter of my patient. hehe :D

last day of my practical - ICITY WATERWORLD. 

sunburn and got tanned but i felt good:D

the day after ICITY, I had move to jb all the way accompanied by my mom, i love her.

my mom first time took flight and she had fun. I'm appreciated. 

actually before coming to jb, something unlucky happened.

that hopeless and no one could help you except your family!

I feel the loves and uncountable. 

it is in my heart forever and ever.

and 

THANK FOR TREATING ME LIKE AN IDIOT. 

i cry for two weeks and having super depress mood. 

I can't manage my emotional, I will start to think negative once I sat down. 

well, now all end!

OCTOBER is his birthday. A friend who I concerned most. The day before he had his best gift ever, = bang his car and the front part of the car gone = . The moment I received the news, I got shocked and the following response was "HAR?! LIKE THAT ALSO CAN AH". 

Hari Haji holiday with him again. this day really was my great day. 

he picking me up at morning and we still not able manage to watch movie on time. 

after we finished movie already 3 somethings. I still mumbling and felt despair because didn't watch PRE SHOW OF INSIDIOUS 2. This is the movie i wish to watch most compare to others.

we almost reach my home, but he return back again with the same place. 

I felt so so so so so happy! haha

but at last still not able to watch, because seat are limited. :/

**you really is a good guy, I really hope you can get rid of those harmful things, I never concerned someone until I want to twist and slap his face because just want to wake him up. everyone are worry about you. as a friend, really hope you can become better. **

22.9.13

毫无信心的，要怎么才能去控制情绪而不影响一天的心情和表现。
保持正面的想法是我最应该拥有的。
可是为什么我就是那么的不成熟。

2.9.13

其实很想写写最近的过得怎么样，可是每次却不知道要怎么去开始。
因为生活也没怎么特别，不是上课，做工就是呆在家。其实，很像其他人一样，可以和身边的朋友出去看戏，吃饭，走走。可是，不知道什么时候开始，变得很粘家；哪里都不想去。

这一年比去年过得快，想起去年的现在，**我过得很开心很幸福。**, 现在，**过得好不快乐，每天都在为明天而头疼，彼此也变得很陌生。**, 真的很大的差别，可是就是回不去就对了。发呆的时候，会想着自己会不会在发梦。**好白痴**

我不断地在逃避，利用很多的东西来逃避。我用跑步来麻醉自己的不快乐，一举两得吧。哈哈。同时也在运动当减肥，听着音乐，还有吹来的风；真的可以把自己也放空。**这样的生活，很平静很平静；还有哦，很久没见到我的朋友都会说我瘦掉去了。心也有点暗爽。哈哈**

自己也在找一些part timejob.

奶粉job,很开心的一份job.小孩的笑真的很天真。也很可爱。看见他们的笑，自己也随着笑了起来。最重要不过与和对的partner. 庆幸我的partner很热情，也很搞笑。很快乐的2天job.

还有，8月，
我依然呆在insurance office做part time admin. 这次是我做领导，教新来的admin.
当然也比较轻松！。

突然有一天，我很想看电影。就约了他:)

第一次，他迷路了。第二次，他很顺利的到达我家。可是，现在第三次，他依然迷路。=="
我不知道该笑还是无奈。哈哈。也很好他还记得一些路。
最搞笑，最无奈，我带他兜了半小时的冤枉路。
还是一样，很感恩抽出你用来睡觉的时间来陪我。:D

接下来，也是工作。

这次是在klcc的parent and children 的fair,
也很轻松的一份工。哈哈
我想我们是去拿free gift 都过于上班。哈哈
虽然脚好累，可是快乐胜于一些。




=有时候，真的很想当没事情，
可是我想，是有人在我伤口上撒盐，很抱歉。
我还是一样的执著，我会离开远远的，
这是我的原则吧，我也改不到。=

省。

天气好热。

我又在犯错了吗。我又在质疑自己了。
课业好忙，但是为什么那些画面还在徘徊。
朋友们最近发生很多的事情，我也只能给些意见。
同时怎么感觉自己也在飘否的呢？
真的好害怕这样的感觉。心也寒了下。

我很喜欢很喜欢拍照，因为通过照片可以看到也感觉出那时候的感受。
看回以前的，也有些看到自己有自信的一面 。
可是现在却，找不回了。
为什么会这样，
不应该因为别人而迷失自己的。
我应该为了自己而生活，而不是因为别人。
为什么会这样。

我很害怕身边的人一直再改变，很害怕有一天只剩下我一个人。
可是现在，
为什么反而觉得自己一个人更加舒服自在了呢。？
有时候，真的很怀念从前。真的。

- 好想好像以前一样可以去看电影，吃宵夜，聊废话。-

18/6/2013- 反省
忙碌的生活，充实中带点孤单。
成长吧。

holiday.

my holidays is gonna finish and new semester going to start on tomorrow. feel excited even it's already last theory semester. hoho:D my holidays nothing special, went for cousin shop and working.
its freaking relax and i was accomplished what I had planned. so, satisfy la :)

bbq night at my cousin's condo, raining and the light was not good, so its hard for us to bbq.
lots of night foods and great night for us to gather :p
hehe. drove all the way from kepong to old klang road after two gap and with the help of signs was not easy.  was felt proud and successful when I reach there :D haha.
sister was teasing me and asked me to shut up. haha

one of the night, my back pain was killing me, I felt suffered and just lying on my bed :(
I'm just age 20, if I continue with this kind of sign and symptoms, why will happen when I age 30,40 or 50?
hope it could be fine and stay healthy, nothing more than that I wish to be, I want a healthy body.

I'm ready for my chinese new year clothes, it seem like bit of exaggerated. but is okay la:P
just act being as a girl. :D
first g2000, there is no reason to make you give up on it.
original price was rm139, but after discount was around rm56.
I love the material and it wasn't look weird when wear it.
just love it :)

somehow,
I had read some books recently and made me moody.
was thinking am I right when doing anything and any decision.
I felt heart pain anything about him, I can't just letting go all in once but am trying now!
some of books said,
" 需要去包容，放开伤害你的人。“
should and should I was just appearing in my mind.
am I too narrow, and I should treat him as my friend like before?
I'm in doubt.

the another book " the magic"
my favorite book n the second version" the power" strongly influencing me.
now, the magic is teaching me how to appreciate and treasure people, things around me.
once again, I'm in doubt.
aiks.
all the negative things came into my mind and i'm gonna crazy. I felt uncertain and the feelings was worst. :(

i need a place to calm myself, so starbucks always do.
hehe.

le last day of my holiday, today nor sunday.
feeling bored and sleepy.
accidentally received a call from friend.
he made his words.HAHA.
quite disappointed before that because he promised to bring me watch FAST 6 but he watched with others dy.
somemore my gang were watched and everyone around us already watched.
thought had no chance to watch it anymore.
I wonder how could it happen and felt magic or surprise.
yesterday was just blaming no one is accompany me to watch movie, but just out of sudden it happened. I felt so happy and warmed.!!!
quick changed my clothes and waited for him.
appreciate him to accompany for watch one more time.
appreciate him to bring me for foods and its super duper fulled!!!
SUPER THANKS for him.
I am really happy and felt good today.
don't know how to express out my feelings!! IMHAPPYKIDNOW.
:p :p :p

24/5/2013.

was finished my FINAL, well. just try my best =)

MAY been my hectic month again, but now free from busy. end of exam, end of semester, i feel like lifeless now. 

one of my lab activity, I just cant stop laughing when I review back on those pictures. the game was awesome and made us totally enjoyed and mad. haha =) 

I remember, everyday we stay school from morning until everning and super tired. 

my body totally can felt that tiredness and powerless. 

people were celebrating mother's day for their mommy, but for me was celebrating sister's day.

my mom is kind of active and love to sing people, so at the end she choose to sing instead of having dinner with us. 

plus, the kid was dated sister and me long time ago!=) haha.

such a good chill night for us. =) 

 a short date or gossip chat with my brother! never felt bored to chat with you. you are the best for me, always! my 13 years friendship, kind of coincident, we have the same surname. haha. expecting for our next date yooo :p hehehehehe.

 sister and me were too stressed up for our finals and too many things in house can attract us and made us can't stay focused. so, just went to starbucks and that day was having 50% promotion, so its worth la. =) i'm coffee lover, especially latte and cuppacino. I love bitter taste instead of those sweet taste.hahaha.

 starbucks again!
this month I had been drink three cups of starbucks. LOL.HAHA
Le shortly date with my friend. a memorable day indeed!!
I not use to bring someone to my home through phone, because jinjang road just so COMPLICATED!!
before that, I was lost myself in jinjang just because I dont know to differentiate the way which been passed. so just round and round and feel like playing hide and seek!=.=
haha. I asked him called me when he reached temple, so just lead him and talk slowly to him. lastly, he still can't find it out and wait me at somewhere. haha.
I remembered he always want to give up and frustrated.!
thought can watch on time, but we still late for that movie. then we just wait for the next showtime.
so, he just brought me to starbucks again! hahaha.
a cup of ice latte just made my day! :D \
anyways, that day I really happy and enjoyed the moment.
maybe its long time didn't watch movie already,
I never forget how mad am I and how frequently I went to cinema last time, but now well. just hard to happen again. :p
Thank you so much! waiting for our next movie, hope you can make your words.

 a lovely weekend spent with my prince and princess!
I study until so bored and brought my cousin's kid to desa park city.
they love dogs and can named all the dogs species.
hahaha.
my cute baby. love you always.
what they said totally can make you laugh and happy.
THEYJUSTSOCUTE!haha.

'locked' myself in starbucks again. but I choose choco cuppocinate just bit of disappointed. maybe I just dislike the taste of milk. its strong and made me felt yukkyyyy. hahah. 

study until tired and went to the body shop bought some body butter, I totally fall on it even was my first time to use their product. it quite oily when apply it on my skin, but I still can feel that moist until the next day. my skin was kinda dry and sensitive. and now allergy happened on my thumb again. =(

my body never be so perfect!

last time was having constipation and cause to intestinal   inflammation. 

and this time was my T12 not enough strong, and cause my right side tummy supper pain. It will started pain when I stand longer time. so shit of my body!!! :S

after three days of final exam, dada.

I free from exam and having my one week holiday.

my school so stingy and never give us more than that.

well, I just hope can fully relaxed myself and in a peace mood.

I dont feel want to go anywhere, just hope my mind and brain can be clean and clear, so I have enough storage for my next semester, haha.. :D

oh yeah. have a good day and night! :")