10.27am

STRESS!negative thinking! all rubbish come in my mind!
新的学期真的很大的改变
head走了，剩下老师处理全部的东西。
教课，处理practical的东西，等等。
看见她这样也心酸 。

因为剩下2个月的时间，就要面临practical的生活了。
有点惊讶，有点期待，最大的某过于 压力。
要将所有课本上的东西搬上医院上用。
害怕错误那一定有的拉。

开学了也一星期，也崩溃了一星期。
答应自己不可以再那么颓废了。
讨厌每次面对问题的时候，只会逃避。
一直用睡觉来当借口。
昨晚也睡了好久好久。

睡饱了，再次的加油！


笑吧！大声地笑！疯狂的笑！因为那才是属于真正的你！
哈哈哈哈 :D


#把心放开，事情未必是你想得那样。#

7.24pm

I'm so sad, keep blaming myself why want to care the marks that I got in my mid-term exam.I hate this kind of feeling !
ish T.T ...

the most hatred thing in college is assignment rejected back! really damn, gonna redo and money waste !
what the bullshit day I had! :(

one more thing I wanna to tell ,
I'M NOT IN RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
haha.
it's not my problem, is my friend invited me to play in APRIL FOOL.

5.11pm

Can make the day reverse ? ain't prepare yet for mid-term examination,5 days non-stop war gonna start then.is damn stress? yup,indeed! met a new lecturer and catch all up the points within one week. Poor anatomy I still can't get you into my life. The most afraid and lack confidence subject. -.- . Finally I know and understand there are not easy taking 6 subjects in long or short semester. How I thought I can handle it well because it's long semester, but thing not going smooth as well . Relationship with lecturer is getting worst, just because of her irresponsible action and how the way she teach us is totally make us fed up. Besides, waiting for a new lecturer for a prolong time totally make us waste one month time to study. While we got a new lecturer, time is not enough for us to study and gotta prepare for examination already. Things were tiring me and don't even know how to start and understands. I'm trying my best but seems like no use. really #wtf! .
Am I make a rod for my own back  ? sometime I think I am. I don't know why want to think those nonsense stuff. kinda wasted my times right ? but I just can't control it! my mind my brain sometime very uncontrollable and all negative feedback will come out and face will be seem very unhappy and moody! really damn for it, any method can change this? ish!
Just now, during the way we drove back from uni, lots of gossip talks with the bestie, but felt guilty after that. -.-
life could change a people from good to bad for both ? no people want to or wish to deserve the bad environment . I believe you guys should be more prefer a better life than a worst life right. but, the inner feeling I really don't know how to express it out ! and both of us agree for that then.
and I don't want gossip people anymore, because the feeling is damn bad.

Thanks parent get me a car, even it is not a new car but at least I got a transport.Finally@.@ the first feeling when I knew this news is happy, the second is " omg , 6 months didn't drive between " . anyways , it is a best for me.

time to revision ^_^

4.00pm

 

the feeling I having in this few days same as the picture above. 

freaking tired and get nothing from study . MAN!! 

how I wish Mr kalai come back from India right now and change my lecturers right now .

what the heck, my lecturer say " you all must study yourself actually,"hey , we are not genius, kay? how can we know and understand before you teach ? damn, damn pissed and hard to calm myself！ but, after you teach also no use lor .= = . I will mad if I stay longer with her!

somemore, assignment reject and has to redo . plus the others subjects' assignment , I think I have no time to do revision already. 

ish, kinda fed up ....

i need a rest but i cant stop my works .:( 

if I could finish my assignment, I'd fly to meet ms tan . miss you badly , i need a badly talk with you :( . couples of months we didn't meet with each others .
everyday , college , assignment. I tired with it but I have to insist.

*the gap between us become bigger and bigger. :-S *

130212

hatred assignment . :( can't even can create a idea for it , am I too stupid ? *damn* it's quite hard for us , a new semester means the subjects are more harder than the previous semester . then my favour psychology moved into a new phase - - > " development psychology " - - < .. la la la la la .. ^.^

is hard to find a special children for me right now , hope can get a part time job soon and related to my current course and subject . transportation always be my first thing to worry . wthhhhh . but i don't mind . :SS gotta off now , damn tired . bye .
 
the feeling was hurt , ms tan I need you right now .

2/10/2012

成长，让我对周围的东西觉得好陌生。 成长，让我对这世界产生了恐惧。 这一切来得太快了，多么希望依然逗留在那天真无瑕的童年里，永远那么的快乐那么的没负担烦恼。 近来，发生的事情。很明显的与自己扯不上一点的关系。唯一无法改变，你依然是我心中的一位的亲人。你离开了我家，不代表你不是。 真的，心；好疼。很替你不值。但是我却无能为力，为什么这世界会变得那么的恐怖无情。我祈祷，但愿这一切安然；仿佛我的祷告感动不到上天。最不想发生的事情依然还是发生了。我最疼爱的小宝贝，我好想念你们。希望你们长大以后一定要乖乖 。 第一次，多么希望这世界真的有奇迹。 第一次，我的痛我的不开心是心痛出来。 那种连呼吸都会痛 ，头脑想想也想掉泪的感觉真的那么第一次。 比起以前为了谁谁谁而心痛，一点也比不上 。 事情发生的当儿， 很不了解为什么些人还能说出那么冷些那么无情的话。 连一个13岁的小孩听了也会掉泪，相信很有杀伤力吧？ 哎，还有那种被人出卖的感觉更加无比的伤心。 妈啊，这怎么啦？ 家，乱了起来。真的一点平静也没有。我恨这感觉，毫无安宁。 是你们让我觉得这世界是那么的恐怖， 是你们让我有种不想待在家的感觉。 但愿一切真的安好顺心。 对了，成绩出来了。 还不错啦，原以为能5科都能拿A，但是lecturer的一句理由。变成其中2科拿B了。有种不服气的感觉，我承认就只有那么的一次迟交功课 ，需要把我的分数扣得那么低吗？

02011012

tomorrow is my final exam for sem 2 , after that say bye to sem 2 and start my sem 3 on 28january2012 .*hope the date will change because I dont feel like want going back to college during CNY * is damn tension and nervous , subjects all need to memorize and I have a poor skill on that . :( .lacking of sleep during this suffering period . and should say THANK YOU AND YES to REDBULL . Seriously , it helps me a lots and won't feel sleepy and can last for several hours .

wish me luck , GOD BLESS .

29122011

teared the book into pieces , means all is over .

5 days more . I'm worrying right now .

08122011

06122011

这个12月一点也不期待，一点也不像往年一样。该死的final,该死的assignment,该死的test,该死的presentation .还有一个大project 。这，真的让我很无奈，很压力。很想大喊。突然间的海啸，老师要我们在下星期presentation 加test .还有project的meeting .我该怎么去分身。？anatomy是我的死穴，这一回的test还是我最矛盾的chapter .真的很害怕，很压力。很怕SCORE不到分数。真的很怕。怎么感觉group的assignment都是我一个人在啃 ，我是无所谓。可是，有时候却很无奈。

很想大喊，喊出心中的不爽 ；很想有个拥抱，这可以让我大声地哭出来。

现在，需要一个慰问，一个安慰，再也不会像以前那样的释放出来。而是，往自己的吞回下去。或许，我会觉得毕竟是自己的问题，何必去向别人哭哭啼啼的呢。告诉自己什么都好 ‘忍一忍吧。’ 。

陈小姐，真的哭了。听了也心痛。

说的真对，再坚强的女生都回败给爱情这东西。

心里的小秘密，不想说也没有必要让别人知道。

01122011

已经是12月了。

很快真的过的很快。

我能是位好leader吗，要怎样才能成功？

我不确定，也不晓得。

时间，经历，让我变得更成熟 ：）

加油。！

29112011

I have bad temper and bad emotional if I didn't manage things well !

I'm a impatient person , once I get any work , I must done it in a minute !

So ,it may cause reckless and I already suit into the environment .

Things occurred on today also .

I just remember I am freaking fed up and almost want to shout " FUCK "

I black my face and shown I really anxious ！

I hate I dislike my behaviour !

I'd like change it since long time ago , but I does not change it either . :(

I believe my friends can feel it . I am so sorry .

and yet , I hate my appetite . once I ate wrong food , it could let me feel uncomfortable in the whole day ! . like , I ate western breakfast and still now I feel like want to vomit .

and MY STUDY PLAN WAS FAILED !

really really really anxious , fed up , ish !

ouch , there you are !

nerd . nerd . nerd . nerd . nerd . nerd .

my brain gonna burst due to lack of sleep .

my brain is empty now , I don't know and forgot what I wanna do later on .

damn .

how to create a fairy tale ?

how ? how ? how ?

I have no idea . :(

9.24

mid term exam will be on three weeks later .
I can't catch what lecturer taught .
GOD , I'm afraid .!
can give some clue for us ?
how even we read it ourself , but still can't get rid of it .
seriously , we need a proper teacher who can teach us well .
I need professional but not touch and go .

I hate those who are so annoying ,

It really make antipathy ,

I am not arrogant ,
but you really make me dislike you.

how could people will be like that ?

i don't know . :)

不肯定

我不肯定 ， 心情突然变得好糟糕好糟糕 ， 很想发泄 ！
身体很疲倦 ，很累 ， 头很痛 。
可是还有一大堆的assignment等着我 。
可是不是即可要交上去的 ，可是现在我就很拼命的赶 ，
是自己活该吗 ？

我不肯定 ，是我manage自己的时间不好吗 ？
这学期的科目都是要背的。
为了更加的明白，我也在做小笔记 ，
可是 ， 明明是完成了 ，感觉就很差，做不好。

我快崩溃了，我不想要这样！


心情很不好，你在哪？
你比我更加快乐吧！

T.E.N.S.I.O.N,

why student should take the exam ?! , why student should do somethings them dislike ?!

I HATE IT !

everydays do the exercise , revision , but the result also same like the SHIT .! .

why I dislike other genuis ? why someone didn't even do a single exercise or revision also can obtain the highest mark ?!

tell me why ?

feel lost :(

I cant smile / laugh now .
damn moody ..I was bowed with frustration !
haiz ..
physics paper 3 have just finished ,
that's mean the trial was have a pretty ending ..
but , SPM just arround the corner ..

phy teacher was give us the paper 1 answer ..
I was rather disappointed ..
27/50 .. A was gone .. my target was 30 and above ,
but ,now .. sighs ! =(
the most I expected on ,the most I put effort on ,
always make me down ..

when I was marking on my question paper ,
my hands was starting tremble ..
This was the first time , is really ..

After knew my mark , my tears is ready to drop ..
but , I controlled myself ..
I whimper inside my heart ..
I turn into EMO , I no dare talk to others ..
if I did it , my tears will drops anytime ..

after school , by bus go to tuition ..
I cry inside the bus .. =( T.T
The feelings of hopeless , the feelings of lonely suddenly were appear in my mind !

I hate this feelings , cause it's not belongs to me ..

luckily , I still got my tuition friend ..
I love them ..
the friendship between them , i was apperciate ..
this week is the last week of tuition ,
I will remember you , you ,and you all the single moment ..
the happiness you gave me is infinity !

I love my friend ! hope we still got chance meet up !



haiz ,
cheer's up , girl !

sob =(

我很不开心 ，
心真的很不舒服 ，很想哭 。
不，我不能这样 ！

是因为考试太过于担心吗 ？
仿佛感觉时间不够 ，
仿佛感觉隔天起床后，该记得的笔记都忘记了。

今天 ，
妈妈吩咐我们做家务 。
可是我发脾气了 =(


不是我要和你计较 ，可是有时候你不觉得有点过分吗？
我又不是特地不要做家务的 ，
你没有想过我的处境吗？
我的考试 ？ 我的压力 ？

唉 ；（

trial

yup :D
I look on my preview status , I wrote that I still got 10 more days for my trial ..
but , now only leave 1 day .. =(
GOD .. why the time gone so fast ..
I wish one day have 48 hours for me , that's enough until the max ..
extreamly nervous , scared , .... ,
I am trying to relax down , when I put all my things down ,
the feelings of unstable appear again =) *hypertension *
super buzy two days ago ,
yup , buzy for tuition ..
I was wearing the stupid school uniform from morning until the night .
Now , I really know how was the feelings of '' tired "
*sigh *
tomorrow I will completed my BC paper , lol ..
my bc knowledge = zero .. ><
= = = = = = = == = = = =

keep crossing my fringers and pray for it [ GOD ] ..
wish my trial pass smoothly ..
thanks ..

short break

亲爱的 ，当你面对压力的时候，该怎么去解压呢？
可以教我吗？
我很害怕，很压力。
害怕考试的到来 =（
害怕自己考不到理想的成绩 。

这2星期的假期，兜兜转转又要来到尾声了。
为什么时间过得那么的快 ？
以前 ，时间该走得快的时候 ，却很慢 ；现在却........ 。
但是 ，
算一算 ，自己也浪费了很多很多的时间 。
生气自己为什么之前不要每天温习功课 。
生气自己为什么头脑那么迟钝 ，为什么吸收能力那么差 。
我很羡慕那些头脑很像电脑的人 。

这星期的开始 ，
我也很努力的温习biology , chemistry , sejarah ..
一边温习，一边担忧 。
很努力的让自己明白 。

我记得那晚的梦 ，
我梦到自己的考试失败 ，真的很害怕。
当头脑疲倦了，
就放空让自己休息 =）

加油 ·！