10.42pm

ITS FRIDAY!!!
我等这天，等了好久好久！
只要相信，一切困难也能克服的！
我相信自己，相信自己能克服一切困难！ ：D

倒数一星期，我的另个人生记载又得开始囖！
心情很杂乱，害怕当然是有的拉，毕竟第一次到医院真正的接触到patient.
keep fighting :>

9.41pm

two more weeks later i will leave for my clinical section.
erm,
and got my latest timetable for following weeks,
super stressful.
8days unstoppable tests and midterm and assignment and also revision.
oh godmama. you are making us stress. and BIG HEAD.
the feeling just like "i need a help :("


*thanks for accompany me*

5.00pm

mind goes blank again. Writing is the best way to distress or release my emotional. date getting near, quite scare and not really want to leave. even, I just go for one month, but the feeling just like killed me seriously. I'm extremely dependent on other or relay on oneself easily. At first, I am so excited when I knew the place where I go, but now and yet I got my next year practical schedule, I'm nearly mad. Can be say like that, start from April 2013, I'll be going to Johor every two months gap? what the heck it is? it's might be a better change for me and as well as classmate say we will be more happy ler?. But, I'm too dependent on family?! and my friend?! 

school's planning was ... , not really can catch up. my mind and heart became super lazy! T.T

being loved and love other there are two different things.

when it occurs in between and cannot be tell, there are suffered.

#i'mnotwillingletitgo,howaboutyou?#

3.51pm hoho :D

Finally day has been changed from lifeless to busy :D

I'm trying to make my day become full, so I won't feel boring.

last week was my hectic week among this few weeks i think.
had my first test in my sem 5, grasp head because not really can answer well >.<
assessments form were difficult until the max :S
the most guilty thing was told my mates class canceled but actually not, haha.
sorry madam :D
and three crazy buddies went to shopping！
we didn't went shopping since very long time ago.we missed it lots!
haha, shop slowly and kacau XD
hehe.


>.<

saturday was my shopping day with sister,
two people drove there and shop happily.

only her can do such face ==, i failed to do it XD

thanks for the flowers,my fren,

you are so cute with pink clothes.haha. :)

busying for practical stuff,

realize has to find room, transportation, broadband aren't a easy things =_=

hope can settle it pretty fine.

we are hwaiting for this acceptable challenges !

:D 

foods day ahead.

Since I'm so free, and sister went out,

the house only leave mummy and me right now.

i hate mummy every time release her anger on me.

I doing right and why she want like that. made me felt so helpless. =(

I'm jealous my sister now, because I felt bored while she got event .

feel like want to watch movie TT

I still remember my college mates asked me in between shopping and foods which you will spent most?

I answered them "shopping!", but during couple of months and time investigates. 

Foods are more in between! hehe.:D

Fish and Co. 

had been there twice, first time was my Singapore cousin introduced me.

super like for this (Y) 

the second time I was brought my friend and still cannot finished.hehe:)

mixed vegetables 

lamb steak

wasabi sotong 

look so yummy right?

actually its not from high-class restaurant,

and just a roadside restaurant - Ah Long -

during these few months, I gained weight because of foods from there.

my lovely cousin always fetch me out for supper =="

(Y)

burger kaw kaw with monster gangs.

(Y)

haha:D

so yummy and the chicken so big in size so i shared with other!

last but not least,

Thursday was my foods day also.

went out with monster gang,

and first time we ate we walked we teased we joked so much in a day.

love them ♥

♥first round, Sg Wang tea!

roaster chicken and barbecued pork

sandwich

:) 

we reached there early, so we planned had a walk from pavilion to klcc

LOL. we were nuts at that time. haha:)

♥second round. -JOGOYA- 

first time been there, 

the foods are freaking yummy and scrumptious.

a quick capture before started the war.haha:)

after one hour, super full and enjoyable.haha:) 

i miss greentea ice-cream TT

I used to hang out with them,

and still remember how crazy we are.haha :D

thank you, my monster gangs ♥♥♥

p.s. what can I do tonight, I hate to be alone TT

9.33 GG.com

开学至现在，真正上过课的日子，我想手指都算到了。

妈妈啊，我好煎熬，我要上课！

T。T

也不能责怪老师，看见他们那么的忙碌，

也希望新的lecturer快点出现！

剩下practical还有2个月，我不希望到时候赶火箭般。

我的生活真的好没有意义。每天都好颓废。

真的希望有个人可以盖醒我，我失去了方向。

- -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

#first time :) .can just stay longer with me?. 

smirk. 

9.56pm

Listen to the words, and you can be fooled. Look at the actions, and you can be fooled. Feel deeply into your heart, and then you will know the truth. Who makes your heart soar now? Well, what are you waiting for?  - message from GOD . 


close up my eyes, 
take a depth breathe,
and think. 

= answer come = 

thanks for people around keep comfort me.
thanks for mummy best advice. 
love you mummy, glad to have you mummy!

mummy's advice almost is the best compare to all!
she know what I want, she know what I need.

Mummy, I am sorry always make you worry about me.
Mummy, I am sorry I'm not good as other.
Mummy, I am sorry sometime blame you for not doing this doing that.
Mummy, 
you are my only love in this world. 
the love never change since I arrived to this world.

Mummy, 
there're problems keep around me right now.
I couldn't manage it well, 
I don't know who's correct and wrong.
I just dislike keep feeling deep inside heart.
It's just killing me if I do not pour it out .
So, I like to talk, to share while I having problems

Somehow, 
mummy, I still like to share with you at last .
I know you got what I meant and 
you daughter, me really don't know what suppose to be the next.

people always says,
choice is on your hand.its either to choose or just let it go.
but, 
so confused. so confused. 

feel so insecure for prolonged time.
mummy,
its right for me? 

10.27am

STRESS!negative thinking! all rubbish come in my mind!
新的学期真的很大的改变
head走了，剩下老师处理全部的东西。
教课，处理practical的东西，等等。
看见她这样也心酸 。

因为剩下2个月的时间，就要面临practical的生活了。
有点惊讶，有点期待，最大的某过于 压力。
要将所有课本上的东西搬上医院上用。
害怕错误那一定有的拉。

开学了也一星期，也崩溃了一星期。
答应自己不可以再那么颓废了。
讨厌每次面对问题的时候，只会逃避。
一直用睡觉来当借口。
昨晚也睡了好久好久。

睡饱了，再次的加油！


笑吧！大声地笑！疯狂的笑！因为那才是属于真正的你！
哈哈哈哈 :D


#把心放开，事情未必是你想得那样。#

2.16pm

semester 5 started on today!
life is getting more challenging, informed by lecturer will be has a clinical posting on November until December!

excited man :) . hwaiting!


#because?

1.07am

good thing has to wait =) 

trip to bangkok = 4 days

final exam = 11 days 

what a big challenging for me in between trip and final exam. has been away and head to bangkok for 5days and once I reached malaysia and need to sit for final. and yet I haven't touch my notes . I had lost all my plan, all my timing, and my timetable. I don't know what should I do first, helpless and useless to describe for myself. Monday was my last day for semester 4, date between us and mr kalai are getting lesser. Miss him lots and we totally lost a HEAD and our soul for guiding us to a right way, he always listened to us, gave us the best advice and taught us the BEST, even all of us fall asleep or felt sleepy during lecturer. . He will leave on 29 or 30 august,WHAT A SAD NEWS. 

my day are so free once I finished my semester, so, I decided follow my cousin to PASAR BORONG and help her around. hehe. I'm curious how does the PASAR BORONG look like during the night time. never felt regret for doing such moron things, somehow, people will says why this fella don't want sleep at home and wasted time here. hehe. its a good try, really! there was so crowed and people are so kind and friendly :) 

the august consider as a new try month. 

I love my hair, I wish to let my hair grows until hip or waist like that. So, I seldom go saloon for hair cut, because I think want to leave it and I can make it curly soon.

But then, my cousin's friend was thought I am his wife sister rather than a younger sister. I am so depressed on that day. black shit face, haha. 

my sister was advice me to cut it short, but ....... :)

hehe. 

my conclusion :" ask stylist la ask stylist la , i dont want too short :S) "

went saloon and sat there and asked what style suit me, he advice me cut it into medium and 50% of my hair were bye bye. 

in the same day, my spectacle was broke into two, ==

what a bad day! 

my cousin and sister teased me and said:" your spectacle also want to change a style ah, aunty!" 

speechless ==!

money flies and I want to save it :S 

erhem, so now, a better me APPEAR

I hope I will insists on beauty, take good care of my skin, always put toner,essence or mask on my face. 

I hope I will insists on it. haha:) 

AGE FOR A WOMAN IS DAMN SENSITIVE, NO ONES WILL HOPE SKIN TURN DULL OR OLD! 

the lesson I got and learned, thanks the guy for inspire me that i need to know such knowledge. =) hehe. 

btw, 

goodthingwillcomeafterastorm. 

=)  

GOD, PLEASE GUIDE TO ME TO A RIGHT WAY, RIGHT DECISION. 

LOVE AND APPRECIATE 

;) 

life

因为受过伤害，
所以不再有任何期待。


你，得出现，
让我再次微笑。
我不晓得有没有这能力去改变你，
但，我会尽力的。 =）

.........

一个不听话的夜晚，
冷清，无奈，心情起伏。
封闭自己在房间里，看着平日看的笑话。
但，一点也不想笑。
看着自己的笔记，心却往外跑了。
是否我没有资格？
是否已经成了道疤？
故事背后，又有谁晓得里面的剧情。
各个的意见有好有坏，
实在地想不开的我还在圈子的兜圆圈，
兜着兜着，雨下起了，这不再是往日的绵绵细雨；而是洪雨。
虽然没有雷电乱了我思绪，但却冷冻了我的心。


超没有安全感的，
女超人何时才能起飞？飞机何时才能降落？船何时才能靠岸？
风何时才能停？雨何时才能转小？雷电何时才能停止？
心何时才能停止乱想？
这一切这一切，依然还是个未知数。
保留着的空位，依然还在保留。

我可以很快乐，但同时我也可以很不快乐。
可以因为一件很简单的事情狂笑一整天。
也可以因为无心的话伤心一整天。

fri

最期待的星期五终于到来了，平日最不期待；因为隔天又得做工了。
但，现在不一样了咯。咔咔。
不知道是否得了工作狂的症状，心还是一直不停的找工作！
可是，我真的不行啊！谁设这学期那么的短。
7月尾就结束了。加上这学期学的东西都很复杂。所以no no no.

昨天，我们这一群未来职业治疗师到了eve caring做了个visit.
嗯，我相信我没有后悔选择这路线！
只是现在还在为degree的事情烦恼。继续？还是停呢？
我每天都在烦这事情。
oversea需要一大笔资金阿！

我想在接下来这个月，我真的得闭关了。
有好多事情我还在努力。
我努力的把吃宵夜的习惯彻彻底底的删除掉！
我努力的每天都要做运动！
我努力的把功课做好！
我努力的为我的目标前进！
我要加油。

当一个人穷起来的时候，什么都是衰的。
鞋子，眼镜慢慢的坏了。= =


哈哈，好了。继续完成我的assignment 了。
:P

5.04

事情可以算是告段落了吧，感觉错误还是什么，我都不理。
日日夜夜缠绕了这问题，我真的很不开心。
不知道现在算是解脱了没，
但我只会把这段不苦不酸，稍微甜的回忆放在心的一个角落。
一切就这样吧。

9.33

若我不把内心的无奈发泄出来，我看我快OCD了。
有种人，往往把事务看得很高，相信是很辛苦吧，而我就是那种人。
好辛苦哦，原以为把事情说清楚了会好过一点。
原来是那么的不好受，一种不能说的心情，纳闷在我的心好久了。
坚持中的不快乐，
等待中的痛苦。
真的很不好受！

除了这样，我还能怎么样。？
除了等，我还是等。

七上八下的，
时间可以过到快点吗？




功课好多。好疲倦。好难专心。
矛盾中的无奈。
快乐中的纳闷。
回忆中的甜蜜与煎熬。

8.35

the moment you flirt me up, please think about it i will falling on you .
the moment you dump me , please think about it i will sad.
the moment you annoyed me, please think about it i will nervous.
the moment you hold my hand, please think about it i will happy and feel damn fucking blissful.
the moment you want me keep it as secret, please think about it i will feel i'm the extra one.
the moment ...
when i know you still liking the girl.
i will be sad ....................

everything and anything .

28.5

I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy 

I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy 
I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy  I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy  I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy  I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy  I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy 
   

^_^

2.36am

问题：好好想想自己需要的是什么？
答案：我找到了，那是什么。

那，只不过是很简单的快乐；
那，只不过是和朋友度过很快乐的一个夜晚；
那，只不过是一部很简单的电影；
那，只不过是一句很简单的问候；
那，只不过是一句很简单的道别。

其实，这不复杂。
其实这很简单。

平日，我会觉得那么的不开心；现在，我找到了源头。
因为我不知足，我不满足。
往往只想一面，却不会想别一面。


我答应也很珍重的写下！
从下秒开始，再也不会出现些不开心的字句。
因为，那是个承诺。=）

一封信。

心烦就找不出那原因来头。很压抑着自己的情绪，好像发泄出来。

学会看透一个人的心，会是件好事吗？怎么我总觉给自己添麻烦。

我不知道，我学不会放下。

收着个不能告诉的秘密真的很辛苦，*罪恶感加深*ish!

疯了！

04.23-a special day

我度过了一个超简单却很惊喜开心的生日。哈哈

一个星期前的星期日，我还很开心期待的对他们说，“还有一个星期阿！！yeahhhh !!"" 

但是很不幸地在接下来的那星期，知道了些东西。

因为某些原因，我很伤心很难过。也哭了。 

心也淡了，伤了。也灰了。也明白了。

很开心因为还有些人当我的听众，帮我解决烦恼。

所以在星期六 那天也就是和他们度过的一天，我拒绝了他们的邀约。

他们问起时，我也告诉他们原因了。他们不断地安慰我，一直叫我出去庆祝。

那时候，也不知道哪来的固执，还是不要去。

心真的灰了吧。咳~

那天我在亲戚的车厂，也是我周末的逗留处^.^

我一直发牢骚，一直说很不开心啊~~~~~~~

相信表姐听到也快发疯了！

表姐夫，给了我点提示。我也无动于衷。因为我伤心透了！ 

那天晚上，和妹妹去喝茶了。

但，受到他们的电话，他们一直巡查我的行踪。哈哈。

就这样，正当我和妹妹发牢骚的时候，我一个头转过去右手边,他们出现了。

一开始是2个人，望远点，那是整群人！天啊，太惊喜了。哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。

他们个个浑身都是汗，哈哈

在我问下去时，原来他们来找我之前，他们去过我家的；发现我不在家，就改plan B . 

还有，为了不让我发现，还把车parking在很远，然后走来我家！

你们太好也太可爱了，真的很开心，看完那video后，更加的开心，也没有后悔认识了你们！

很开心，在我难过得时候，不断地安慰我给我惊喜。

在我为某些事情难过时，也站在我这边，撑着我！哈哈哈。

我一年级到现在的好朋友！哈哈。记得以前在学校我难过得时候，你总会买chocolate给我。 ^_^

传说中我的”EX BOYFREN" , 哈哈。那天是愚人节，大家的好玩心！哈哈

keke.谢谢你们，我的大家庭！loong还说，第一次那么的齐人。哈哈哈谢谢你们哦，给我带来的惊喜。我好爱你们！。

不说话的buddy! ^_^

banana !! ^_^

hoy gor ^_^

rooney ^_^

wei wen.. hahahaha .^_^.. 感激你的安慰！ 哈哈

cody! hehe ..

bohong ^_^

loong ^_^ 

and ME ^_^ ..

我真的好开心，心情从-100 升回去100%了。

谢谢你们我的大家庭！ 

19岁的人生，我准备出发了。^_^ 

第一次受到的o.d.m
。感谢。